Am I Missing Something?
Each morning when I open up my Mozilla Firefox browser, I have four tabs that open up as my home page. Email, facebook, this blog and a streaming web cam of a morning radio show out of Springfield. A friend of mine from Petersburg hosts the Morning Grind on 99.7 Kiss FM. I listen because I like to laugh and sometimes they have great topics that make listening very interesting. Along with their live, streaming web cam is a chat room. People sign in and chat with each other while watching the web cam. It’s an amazing community of people. And while my screen name in that chat room is preacher_man, they have received me with open arms.
I was listening, and watching, early this morning as what turned out to be an extremely controversial topic came along. The phone lines lit up and many people couldn’t even get through to express their opinion on the topic. That’s where the chat room comes in handy. The community of web cammers, webbies as we have named ourselves, can chat their own opinions and the host of the show reads them and will comment on them live on the air. Which is really cool when you get a live shout out from the host. This is where it gets interesting.
The story is being reported of a mom who had a thirteen year old girl, who was terminally ill with cancer. The 13 year old comes to her mom and begins talking about sex to try and understand it before she passes away. The 13 year old is upset because she will never be able to experience that act of intimacy. There is an older sister in the picture who has a 16 year old boyfriend. The mom goes to the boyfriend of the older sister and asks him to sleep with the 13 year old so that she can experience sex before she passes away. He agrees and sleeps with the little sister. 4 months later the 13 year old passes away. The 16 year old boy goes on to marry the older sister that he was dating at the time. Now begins the debate within the chat room and the phone lines. Some call in to say they would do anything for their dying child. Some call in to say how crazy the mom is.
I of course chat my opinion in the chat room. Not expecting much, just sharing my opinion. My friend, the host, begins mentioning my comments on the air, calling out my screen name and asking me to call in. I can’t say that he and I completely agreed on the subject because he seemed very eager to debate a little. I don’t mind though because as I mentioned he is a good friend of mine. Although he is a Missouri Tigers fan, I have been praying for him.
The point I wanted to make was this; if it’s wrong for a 13 year old to have sex at their age, then it is wrong in any given situation. If it is okay for 13 year olds to be out experiencing this act of intimacy then in my opinion she should have already experienced it. My friend the host, couldn’t get me on the line because the phones were too busy. The discussion in studio was that we don’t know what we would do in the situation. We would want to give our dying child anything to make them happy in their last days, months, etc. I fall on the side of the issue that believes that parents have to choose sometimes what is best for their kids. My children want a lot of things and I have to decide between them, which will be good for my children and which won’t. My concern ends up being not only on the 13 year old girl, but the 16 year old boy. It seems like there are other factors beyond just the physical act of sex going on here. With sex come some deep emotional questions. There is a relationship that is missed out on completely. How did the mom play with her daughter’s emotions, not to mention that of the 16 year old?
What if there was a miracle and the 13 year old lived? Her cancer goes into remission and she lives a normal, healthy life? Then what? What has the mom done to her? I have to decide what is best for my kids at every stage in their life until they have moved out of my home. This situation is no different in my mind. This is why situational ethics has destroyed our culture at so many levels. When we pick and choose our morality based on a current situation, then we don’t really have morals at all. To say, “I won’t sleep with you for $10, but I will for $1 million,” doesn’t make you less cheap, it just proves that you will do cheap for a more expensive price. These types of decisions just cheapen our morality.
What do you think about this story? Have I missed something? What would you add? What do you agree/disagree with? Comment me.
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Posted on June 1, 2009, in Church, Family, the basics, the culture, the nation, worldview. Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.
Stan Rodda 
hmm, i don’t think it’s a parents job to decide when their child is an adult, they regard them as a child until they show evidence to the contrary. All kids ask questions about sex, drugs, etc, and we don’t run out and hire them a hooker or buy them a joint. Sometimes it’s okay for a child to remain a child. I think this is the “moral” issue, not age, because after all, Jesus own mother was probably not much older than 13 when she became engaged to Joseph and in that culture it was perfectly normal, and still is to this day. Adulthood isn’t a legalistic rule. In this case however, my opinion is that this mom should be held accountable for two counts of sexual abuse…
ok so the child may have never experienced drinking, drugs, etc. so does that make it right? first i think it was wrong to put the boyfriend in that position. and what if the girl got pregnate? this is just not appropriate. we as a society have just let it go so anything can be ok as long as it can be justified. I do belive it’s wrong. God aside it’s still wrong…a 13 yr old should be wanting to go to disney world, swim with dolfins, enjoy her friends not worrying about never havin sex. and what if the experience was tramatizing for her. is that a kind of memory she needs…i can’t. How did this effect the boy? the other sister? and all said and done it could be statuory rape etc. the list goes on and on not only Morally but legally…..
This is wrong on so many levels. There are spiritual and emotional elements to sex…its not just a physical act. This girl wasn’t able to experience sex as God created it. She had intercourse, yes, but (pardon my frankness) she didn’t experience the real deal.
And no one has mentioned this girl’s sister. She is now married to the guy her mom hired to have sex with her dead sister. Wow.
I think this boils down to a school of parenting that is all too common today. Parents want to be their child’s friend, meeting all their demands, buying their love, while neglecting to give them what they really need–real love (that sometimes comes in the form of discipline), guidance, and a solid spiritual foundation.
I 100% agree with you. My only disagreement is that the mom didn’t “hire” him. As far as I know, there was no exchange of money. She just asked him to do it as a favor. Either way, I still disagree with the actions, I just don’t want anyone to think the mom “hired,” or paid him to do this.
Check this out
Girl dies 7 hours after receiving her death wish,
interesting comparison
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,527464,00.html